58. Hanson vs Jil- Jenny Idea Lady- Part 3

Okay, I promised the story of how I got the nickname Jenny Idea Lady, and then I avoided posting for ages because it's a bit silly, but I have the posts mostly written, I really just need to get them out of the way! So, here's the beginning of the Jil saga.

It started with Hanson actually. That band of kids with long hair, you know? Yeah... my next door neighbor, Stephanie, and her friend, Candace were big fans of them. They probably still are... at least, I'm pretty sure I've seen a few references to Hanson back when Stephanie had Facebook. I am not certain exactly how long ago this happened, 15 years at least.

The girls decided that they wanted to make a present for Hanson... and somehow they had got it in their minds that I was creative and would give them an idea of something to make.
Now, being as I wasn't so much a fan, I hadn't a clue what they'd like. (And, would they really want anything the girls would send them anyway? Well, I wasn't going to suggest that to them, didn't want to hurt their feelings. After all, what do I know, I've never been much of a fangirl. Maybe people sent them things all the time, maybe famous people actually use the things people sent them...)

As they begged for my help, Candace (I think) began to call me Jenny Idea Lady.

At some point it got shortened to Jil, although Candace never liked that I spell it with just one L. However, she never came up with something for the second L, so I still spell it with one L.

The story is a lot more interesting in my memory than when I put it down in words. It's amazing how many little details are forgotten over the years...

I don't know if they ever picked something cool and exciting to send to Hanson.
I just know that I liked the nickname.

The truth is, I'm using a nickname that I proved to not be true the first time I was called it.

I don't always have ideas. And sometimes I don't have good ideas. But, sometimes I do have ideas, and they're good, and I need to be more than just an Idea Lady. I need to follow through.
And in my mind, Jil is the part of me who does that, who finishes her paintings and her novels without fear of what happens next.

Jil has ideas and does something about them.
Because Jenny doesn't.

Jil- Part 1
Jil- Part 2

19. Friends, or Lack Thereof

[I've edited this post because, well, it served it's purpose at the time: it made me feel better after complaining to the great unknown and I even got to chat with Marshall, but, well, I don't really feel as strong as I felt this day the majority of the time, so here's the less lonely version (which is still a little stronger than I usually express my feelings, but I guess it's good to speak your mind on occasion.]

Sometimes I really hate days off. I mean, I look forward to them all week, but... well, what do you do with days off? Today I did: nothing.
Some days I don't mind doing nothing (watching TV, reading a book, etc.), but sometimes I really want to do something (not sure what something is.) Last time I felt this way I got lucky. I was housesitting for my aunt and uncle and my cousin came home for the weekend. He invited me to go watch the batman movie with him and his friends.
Today... my roommate is gone for the weekend (not that I usually do anything with her, but at least it's someone to say hi to)... and I have nothing to do (Well, technically I could vacuum and do dishes). It doesn't help that I have no money so I can't really go anywhere.
And I have no friends.
Okay, so I have friends, I've mentioned a few before, but no close friends. None of them call me, none of them invite me to do things. It's just, we're group friends, I'm part of the group... and nobody in the group is that talkative.
I hate talking on the phone, my intelligence level drops in half when talking on the phone. And yet, I wish people would call me. And yes, I realize maybe I should call someone... but who? I really don't know. They all have other friends they do things with, or they're always really busy with school and such.
My old roommate, Caitie, despite being my best friend (whatever that really means), never calls me and probably doesn't miss me since she has a boyfriend now.
I don't know if it's me, everyone else, or just God saying wait... I'm really tired of being lonely, but I don't know how to fix it.
I don't believe in leaving where I am just for the stupid selfish reason that I might find friends or love somewhere else.
I'll probably be happier tomorrow, when I'll see most of my group friends, and all the other people at church that I love.
But still, what good are days off if I always spend them alone?